Us CrossFitters are &@$%! Weird Dude

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CrossFitters are a strange bunch of people. We do a lot of stuff that doesn’t make much sense. Before I started CrossFit, I remember making fun of those dorks that would post about CrossFit on their Facebook pages, and always wear their dumb CrossFit shirts, and I’d tell them to @&$*! off when they judged me for eating my Oreos. Fast forward to today, and I’m one of those dorks, and I co-own a gym! Whoops! Here’s what makes us so weird:

CrossFit is pricey

CrossFit isn’t cheap. Fees range from $140 a month on the low-end to over $200 a month on the high-end. As CrossFitters we understand you are getting what you pay for, but when someone who doesn’t CrossFit compares that to the $19 a month GloBo gym down the street, they think we’re crazy paying the equivalent of a car payment to be able to work out. What do they know anyway? They can go back to their curls and kickbacks.

CrossFitters spend money on crazy stuff

Who cares they where $90

Before I started CrossFit, the thought of paying more than $10 for a T-shirt was ludicrous! $70 for a pair of shorts? You’re out of your mind! But since I’ve started CrossFit, I’ve boughten enough CrossFit gear to buy another house! And oh how I’ve needed every last bit of it. It’s funny how us CrossFitters justify buying the stuff we buy. $90 LuLu pants? No big, these last forever! You really need 3 pairs of Nano’s? Well yeah! They last longer that way! You paid how much for those lifters? Hey mind your own business. By the way, can I borrow $5 for lunch?

CrossFitters are super fit, even the nerds

If you ever really look at a group of CrossFitters you will see a group of super fit people. You will also see people who are in incredible shape that are out of the norm. Usually when we see some dude, or chick, that’s fit, you automatically can bet he’s some meathead jock, or she’s a “fitness model”. CrossFitters are all sorts of different people. Soccer moms, business men, nurses, teachers, lawyers, even computer nerds! And they all look pretty damn good! It’s cool that anybody can get in amazing shape, not just the duochers that live at 24 Hour Fitness. No offense to you non-duochers that go to 24 hour fitness.

CrossFitters eat paleo but drink beer

Gotta beer for me?!

Most CrossFitters adhere to a paleo diet, basically meaning they eat only “natural” foods. So if the ingredient list on the package looks like an encyclopedia, don’t even pull that thing out. Are those cookies paleo? No? I’m not eating that. Does that have sugar? Forget about it! Are you eating bread!? Are you trying to get cancer! That stuff will kill you! Is that a Guiness?? Give me one! I don’t really follow a super strict paleo diet, but I eat pretty clean. I also like to enjoy food once in a while so I do have my “cheat” days. If most of my members knew what I ate, they’d probably stone me! Oh but beer is totally ok…

CrossFit is a cult

Mmmm CrossFit Kool-Aid

Well not really, but it can feel like one. People will never really quite understand why we do what we do. They assume that we have bizarre ritualistic crap going on, and that if you leave the cult you will be shunned,or disappear,or something. While we really know it’s not like that, we do know that it is strangely addicting!! How else can you explain a group of people who get together at 5 am to get their asses kicked everyday! It’s almost like fight club, minus the punching,and missing teeth. Well I’m sure there’s been a few knocked out teeth from the Oly bar, I know I’ve had a few close calls.

CrossFitters are awesome

As weird as CrossFitters may be, at the end of the day they are awesome people. You will never see a group of people trying to get better while encouraging others or get better too. We don’t share our enthusiasm for CrossFit because it’s just good for us we share it because it’s good for you too, and everyone should feel as awesome as CrossFitters do!
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2 Comments

  1. Craig April 19, 2014 Reply
    • Kettlebeard April 22, 2014 Reply

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